1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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