wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
