Apparently you make a good broom.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
