Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
