Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
