I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize