so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
