I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
