my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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