Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize