nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
