just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize