She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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