Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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