The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
