OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
