somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
