you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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