O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
