Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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