I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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