It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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