Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
