No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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