New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
