My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
