I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
