Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
