I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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