smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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