is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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