Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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