I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
