haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
