That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
