he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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