Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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