I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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