'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize