I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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