he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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