Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
