Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
