I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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