Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
