we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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