What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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