Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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