I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
