He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
