As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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