guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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