I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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