I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize