i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
