dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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