Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
