I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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