Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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