Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
